Darkness Party
by firegirl56
Summary: The Darkness was tired and bored.  So, he called together all of his slaves and decided to throw a party!
1. A Mysterious Message

**Hello people! Hope you enjoy this fanfic, though I am not entirely sure if it's good or not, but I'll let reviewers be the judge of that! So this is basically just the Darkness making his people throw a party. I have no idea what the point is besides that. I was bored and this came to me. I hope it isn't THAT bad. Even if it is, review anyway please! :)**

The basement wasn't fancy. It wasn't finished. It was more like a root cellar. The Darkness had a thing for darkness. It also had a thing for secluded, underground, enclosed spaces. That's why he sent each of his followers there, to have a break from everything else that was happening. Even the Darkness was tired after making an army of bugs for Drake. He himself needed a break. He even decided to go get Nemesis's followers in on it. It wouldn't be fun without them. He reached out with a tentacle of his mind.

"What do you want, Nestor?" Nemesis replied as he floated lazily in the sky. Nemesis knew the Darkness was afraid of him.

'I'm tired. My slaves are throwing a party. Would you like to come?" Nemesis looked down on him.

"I'm dead," said Nemesis, like it was obvious. Which it was.

"I didn't mean you specifically, I meant your slaves. Send them to Orc's basement tomorrow at dusk. Then we shall watch them party all night." Nemesis smiled. He said he'd pass on the message.

00000

Astrid didn't even know why she felt the overwhelming urge to go to Orc's basement. It was in Caineland. Or Caineistan. Or New Caine. Whatever it was, Sam walking in would be a death sentence. Cars would fly, stuff would burn, and everyone would have to suffer for months of clean up because of Caine's territorial issues. Still, her brother had sent her a message. These messages were usually right, so Astrid ran and informed Sam, who was sitting on the edge of their bed, reading a note from Albert. And he was shirtless. Astrid's breath caught in her throat. She wanted him, so, so much—

"Our Father, who art in Heaven…" Astrid began to pray. She prayed whenever she began rethinking her beliefs.

"Astrid, what is with your constant praying? You do it all the time! It's getting tiresome." Sam said, standing and stretching. She tried to stop thinking about Sam, but she found herself staring at him, speechless. He noticed her staring, crossed the room in two quick strides, and pulled her to him. He kissed her for a second, then let go. He had been very chaste for the past few weeks, and Astrid knew why. He didn't want to fight her. It was kind of him to respect her like that, but Astrid couldn't mistake the hunger in his eyes and hands when he kissed her. And she couldn't mistake her own hunger, wishing maybe he wouldn't be so virtuous, wishing that he might not pull away.

It had been a dream from Little Pete that had led her back to Sam. Pete had come to her and spoke to her. He seemed older, wiser, in a way. He had told her to go back with the other kids sticking with Sam. When she protested, he just shook his head. "Look, Astrid, in the FAYZ, I'm the closest thing to God you have, and I don't really care what you do in bed with Sam. Just go back." Astrid had been surprised by his language and his knowledge, considering he was five, but it didn't matter. She had gone back and found Sam. They shared a room on a little houseboat now.

"Little Pete sent me a message, in a dream," Astrid began, and Sam nodded. He was okay with Pete speaking in her head, since he was the one who convinced Astrid to come back. Sam liked Pete a lot more now. "He said it was important we go to Orc's basement." Sam looked at her in confusion.

"Drake's old prison?" He asked skeptically. Astrid nodded.

"I don't know why, he just said that it was really, really important."

Sam looked conflicted for a second, then nodded. "All right. Let's get some people together."


	2. To The Basement!

**Second chapter in one day! Yippee! :D I hope that my jokes aren't COMPLETELY lame, because I was attempting to be funny but I'm not that good at it…Anyway, Read! Review! :)**

Caine sighed, and rolled over in his sleep. He reached out for Diana, who (surprise) wasn't there. He tried to forget about her, but he couldn't. He found himself thinking, trying to remember something. For some reason, he wanted to go to Orc's basement that night. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. What the heck? Orc's basement? His mind suggested maybe there was a party, and Caine gasped in shock of not being invited. He got together some people: Penny, Bug, Taylor, etc. and explained how they were going to go party-crashing.

That evening, Caine and the others snuck around, and let themselves into Orc's basement. There was a door in the corner, still barricaded, but there was also a huge crater in the floor where Orc fell through, releasing Drake. "Hey Caine!" Called a familiar voice from the crater. We're having a party! You're all invited! Get down here! Did you bring food and drinks?"

Caine looked down and saw Drake looking up at him. "No…" he said cautiously. Drake cursed in response.

"Well, I guess it's okay. I already stole lots of stuff. I just need Sam and his people to get here and bring the lights and music." Caine was thoroughly confused. Drake was anticipating Sam's arrival. This was weird. Caine carefully jumped down into the basement. His followers followed. Down in the basement were Drake, Nerezza, Orsay, Lana, and Patrick. Caine was a little confused. Why were they all here? And weren't Orsay and Nerezza dead?

00000

Sam and his friends looked at the small, half wrecked house in front of them. It didn't seem like much. Still, Sam did the rational thing. He knocked on the door. He was shocked when Taylor opened it. "Well, hello, Sam," she said seductively, causing Astrid to tense and glare at her with a Drake-like look. "We're having a party in the basement. Come on in." Sam looked at Astrid in disbelief. She shrugged, bewildered. Sam's people crowded into the house, skirting around the huge hole where strange noises were coming from. It was hard, because he had brought quite a few people. There were: Sam, Astrid, Edilio, Sanjit, Dahra, Orc, Howard, Brianna, Jack, Dekka, Albert, and Diana. Diana hid behind Orc, not wanting to be seen by Caine.

"Hey Sam!" cried a voice from the basement, and Sam jumped. He put his hands out in self-defense and glared into the dark crater. He threw a SammySun into the air, casting a dim, eerie light. Drake waved, but he used his whip arm so it looked more like it was going into spasms.

Sam paused. Drake wasn't trying to kill him yet. This was…weird. It got even weirder when Drake hung a disco ball by the SammySun so that the light was refracted. Sam could now see his evil twin brother was also not trying to kill anyone, but was calmly levitating tables and chairs to the edges of the underground room. Lana was sitting angrily in the corner with Patrick, Orsay was decorating, and Nerezza was making punch. Astrid gripped his arm fearfully.

"Sam, the odds of all of these people acting so calm in the presence of each other are exactly 91,523,438,967,230,778,942.08 to one. I think something is terribly, terribly wrong."

"No, really? I never would have guessed!" He muttered back, also incredibly weirded out/scared for his life.

"JACK!" Drake roared, and the small boy whimpered. Then Drake smiled and pointed to a pile of DJ equipment and speakers on one side of the room. "Here, can you set this up? My master has provided us with electricity for the night." Jack climbed down into the basement against his better judgment, but who was he to resist computers? Brianna narrowed her eyes at the psychopath for a moment before blurring and appearing next to Jack in the basement, gun pointed as Jack giggled and hugged a laptop.

Caine stopped setting up tables at this statement. "Wait, your master? Does that mean that I was brought here by…that…thing…?" He had a look of absolute horror on his face, and he put his hands on his head as if to rip it out of his mind. "GET IT OUT!"

Lana stood up and slapped him across the face. "What did you THINK it was, you idiot?" she said, then glared at everyone and returned to her corner.

00000

Diana couldn't help but laugh when Lana slapped Caine. Then, realizing her mistake, she clapped a hand over her mouth and crouched lower behind Orc. The entire room fell silent. She could see from where she was as Caine's face grew into a huge, excited grin, all thoughts of the Darkness gone. "DIANA!" Suddenly everyone in front of her was thrown sideways, some landing in the basement with a thud, the others just tripping and falling a few feet.

"Oof." Orc said when he landed with a crash a foot away from Diana. All eyes, including Caine's, were on her. His face now went from ecstasy to rage as he saw her large stomach.

"OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT!" He yelled, rising up from the basement and landing on what was left of the floor. All of the boys there backed away as fast as they could, terrified of Caine, stammering that they hadn't and to please not hurt them.

"Caine, none of them did! It was-" Suddenly he was lying face-down on the basement floor. Astrid gasped and rushed to his aid, but she was thrown backwards by a furious Caine.

"IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT?" Caine screamed, throwing Sam into a wall repeatedly. His face was a mess of blood. Lana stood up, ready to heal Sam when Caine finished.

"Caine, stop it!" shrieked Diana in horror. "It wasn't Sam! It was you!" Caine dropped Sam and his mouth flew open in shock. Lana put a hand on Sam.

"Wait…" Caine said, eyes wide, "Me?" Diana rolled her eyes. Lana stood up from Sam and slapped Caine again.

"Who did you THINK it was, you idiot?" She glared at everyone and went back to healing Sam's smashed face.


	3. Drake's Playlist

**Ahh, the pleasure of updating three times in under twenty four hours! :) So yeah this is chapter three and it made me laugh as I wrote it, even though I don't know if it's that funny. Just my strange humor. :D **

**Reviewers get Redvines, because everything is better with a Redvine. Ask anyone: Ron Weasley, Peter Pettigrew, Harry Potter, all of my crazy (in a good way) friends! :D AND TWIZZLERS DON'T COUNT! XD**

**After pointlessly ranting about the difference between crimson licorice candies, I shall now allow you to read this fanfic. :)**

Astrid looked around the room, overseeing as the others finished setting up the basement for their party. Brittney, who had just showed up, was having a conversation with Tanner. Sam was hanging lights. Caine was finishing with the furniture. Computer Jack was fiddling with the computers, a stupid grin on his face. Everyone was hanging out with each other, all forgetting who was a freak and who worked for the gaiaphage. Astrid was shocked that they had managed to not kill each other yet.

Just then, Brittney changed into Drake, and he grabbed the microphone from Jack. "Let's get this party started!" He yelled, and everyone cheered. Jack put on a catchy pop song and everyone started dancing and laughing and singing. It was a lot of fun. Astrid even started to dance a little as she took a sip of punch. She had no idea why Petey had wanted her to come to the party, but she was having a great time!

00000

"Okay," Jack said, and turned down the music. "Now, I'm going to play a few songs for each person, some songs I think they'll like."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Drake jumped up and down. "Me first!"

"Um, actually, I thought we'd go alphabetically by our first names, so…" Albert clapped his hands happily, and "Billionaire" began to play. Albert sang along in a horrible voice that made Astrid wince.

"I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE! SO FREAKING BAD!" He wailed, and Drake shoved him over. Albert gasped in pain and clutched his finger. "I—I b-b-broke…A NAIL!" He began tearing up, and Drake rolled his eyes. "LANA! HELP! OH MY GOSH, I'M DYING!" Lana facepalmed and glared at the hypochondriac.

"You idiot," she muttered, but grabbed his finger until he stopped sniffling.

"I want my music first!" Drake yelled angrily, whip hand writhing menacingly. Jack gulped. Within moments, a playlist of any song known to mankind that mentioned whips, (examples: Whip my Hair (Willow Smith), Whiplash (Selena Gomez), and S&M (Rihanna)) was blasting over the speakers. Everyone stood back as Drake danced and sang his heart out on the dance floor.

"I'M GONNA CRASH AND GET WHIPLASH WHIPLASH WHIPLASH!" He belted out, before noticing that he was the only one dancing. He grabbed Caine, who was staring at Drake in terror. "Come on, dance with me! JACK! REPRISE! I WHIP MY HAND BACK AND FORTH!" He grabbed Caine and pulled him close, giggling at the fear in Caine's eyes. The rest of the crowd looked on in a mix of shock and resistance to laughter. Diana stepped forward, smirking.

"I have a suggestion for Drake," she said. "Trainwreck by Demi Lovato." Jack shrugged and the song started. Drake listened and danced for a minute, until he froze and looked at Caine in horror. They both turned to face Diana.

"You're a trainwreck, but with you I'm in love?" They simultaneously quoted, Caine with an inflection of hate, Drake with disgust. Diana's eyes widened in protest.

"That's not what I meant at all! Jack! GO BACK TO WHIPLASH!" She dragged Caine away from Drake as the psychopath began to sing again.

"SAY HELLO DARLING TWISTED INSANITY FALLEN HUMANITY ALL I WANT IS SOME TRANQUILITY DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU HEAR ME?" Drake was singing with such passion that Orc began to tear up.

"My turn next," he grunted, earning a murderous glare from Drake as he finished his Selena Gomez moment. The crowd sighed in relief. Even Orc singing was better than Drake singing.


	4. A Dance and a Fisherman's Entrance

**Hello, readers of this fanfic! Which is obvious, because if you weren't a reader, you wouldn't be here…umm…yeah…*awkward silence* SOOOO…I have decided to basically abandon this humorous fanfiction because I am EXTREMELY lacking in the humor department. I love reading funny stuff, but I can't write funny stuff. So after maybe one more chapter, I'll be done. But more stories will be coming, the soonest probably one that I wrote with my friend, so it might be slightly funnier. But then again, it might not. So read it whenever I get around to writing it. :)**

**I was on vacation in West Virginia with my family to visit my great aunt and uncle, and I was so obsessive about not having my computer. I was like, "Omigosh, what if someone added a new story or reviewed my story or sent me a message and I MISSED IT!" I ****think**** know I'm addicted. But anyway, when I got home, I ran to my computer, turned it on, and stared at the screen as it loaded. Then I opened my emails and felt so special when it said I had 12 new messages. I know. I am pathetic. But anyway, read the chapter and review if you feel like it. :)**

**Oh, and a warning about the pairings *ahem*: Landilio, Bunny, and Orcka.**

…**it took me so long to figure out how to make those pairings sound cool it's not even funny…**

Caine picked up Drake with his power and placed him in the far corner of the room. Drake had passed out due to exhaustion/overdose of punch. Everyone was dancing and talking and enjoying themselves more now that Drake and Orc's songs were over. (Orc had chosen 'Need You Now' by Lady Antebellum and forced Howard to dance with him. To put it simply, everyone almost wanted Drake back when Orc belted out 'IT'S A QUARTER AFTER ONE, I'M A LITTLE DRUNK AND I NEED YOU NOW!'.) Caine's song had just finished. He was grateful because no one else seemed to understand his love for Camp Rock. He had been dancing to the song, "Too Cool" when everyone started laughing. It was too much. He threw a few people into the walls and felt a little better. But Diana kept snickering every time she looked at him, and Caine almost wanted to cry.

Now slower songs were coming on, and Caine looked around at the couples slow dancing. Sam and Astrid, Brianna and Computer Jack, Penny and Bug (which was surprising), Nerezza and Zil (which really surprised him, because Zil was supposed to be dead and hated everyone else here), and Lana and Edilio were all dancing. He looked at Diana on the other side of the room. She smirked again, and he turned away with a glare.

00000

"Dance with me."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like you."

"But I like you."

"So?"

"So dance with me."

"But I don't want to because I don't like you. I like someone else."

"Who?"

"Not you."

"Who?"

"Oh my God, Orc, GO AWAY!"

"You didn't answer."

"Fine."

"Well?"

"I like Brianna. But she likes Jack and is disgusted by my feelings for her. Can you go away now?"

"So no one wants to dance with you?"

"No."

"So then dance with me."

"Why should I?"

"Because I asked nicely."

"Go dance with Howard."

"But I want to dance with you."

Dekka sighed. She really wished the drunk stone boy would leave, but he was persistent. And that was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. "Fine, but just one dance." Orc smiled happily and put his literally rock-hard hands onto her waist. Dekka awkwardly put her hands on his shoulders and they started to dance. It was slow, awkward, and they kept stepping on each other's toes, but it wasn't as bad as Dekka thought it was going to be.

00000

Brianna laughed when she saw Orc and Dekka dancing. It was less awkward if Dekka wasn't totally infatuated with Brianna, and it was also funny to see Dekka dance with anyone. Of course, if Brianna had to pick for her, she wouldn't have picked Orc, but he was all right…

She walked past and caught a glimpse of their conversation.

"You smell like beer."

"Oh. Sorry."

Okay, so they weren't getting along as well as Brianna had hoped. She went back to dancing with Jack. She didn't want to interfere in case Dekka somehow managed to like Orc.

00000

Everyone turned to glare at Astrid. "What?" she asked defensively. Sam took her hand and said what everyone else was thinking.

"Astrid, do you really like this stuff?" She looked around and finally registered the religious music playing in the background. She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"This? No way! This is much too newfangled. I like the older pieces." Sam shook his head in disbelief.

"This was written in, like, 1723, but whatever…" Jack murmured from the DJ table.

"Anyway, if you didn't request this, who did?"" Sam asked impatiently. He needed to find out WHO liked this horrible song so he could force them to TURN IT OFF. It was hurting his ears.

"I did," said a girl's voice from the corner where Drake had been before. It was Brittney. "Isn't it beautiful music?"

"MAKE IT STOP!" Quinn cried, and everyone looked at him in shock. He hadn't been there a second before. Everyone stared at him, and he stared at everyone before breaking into a grin.

"I poofed," he giggled, and then proceeded to go get some punch.


End file.
